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  • Writer's picturePatrick Mills

Fatigue


I’m not quite sure if fatigue and exhaustion are the same, their definitions are pretty close. Both express the overwhelming feeling of being so tired, all the time.



Either way fatigue has been a feature of my life for quite a long time, possibly ten years.


However it has got worse; the other day I slept in until 12.30 - something I haven't done since I was a teen.


I used to put it down to work.


It followed a pattern and was most evident during the first quarter of the year - the dark mornings and evenings, the more intense work load. And as Spring sprang it levelled out and I could push it to the back of my mind.


Looking back this might have been the first indication of Parkinson's.


Now it seems to have become a permanent fixture. And is particularly annoying because I have become quite apathetic. Even sitting down at the computer and writing is an effort, and there is so much I want to do.


It is utterly debilitating. I yearn for sleep. A good night is so precious.


However I think I have found a rhythm - waking at 3am (the milkman?), going back to sleep, then waking with the 7am alarm feeling heavy and extraordinarily tired. The Parkinson's nurse at Kings College Hospital tweaked my meds so I take Madopar at 3am, then the rest of the cocktail at 7am, and within a couple of hours all is fine, and everything is calm.


I am trying to embrace this moment and focus on peaceful and nourishing activities like writing, reading, listening to music, watching a lot of TV (which I never used to), sitting in silence and enjoying the peace, going for walks, being idle.


Balanced with the intense Neuro Heroes classes which do give me a very positive and energising lift.


Such is the strangeness of Parkinson's I know full well that in another six months something else will have taken the place of fatigue.


The excitement is simply too much.


Zzzzzz


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